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Anonymous
I feel so alone, Lord. I have learned that people in my life were toxic and not genuine and only brought me down. Now I am left with no one. When I say no one, I mean that in it's most literal sense. No one has invested in a relationship with me or reciprocated my attempt to form friendships. I feel sorrow like never before. It's a wretched feeling when I realize that I am utterly alone. Now, with this virus ripping our country apart I am not even able to get the only form of human contact I've been able to have in a year...cashiers. Is it sad? Pathetic? That, for a year, I have relied on cashiers for human contact and conversation. I'm drowning. I feel trapped. Hopeless. The silence is deafening. All I want to do is run and never look back. But running is all I've ever done and I'm tired. I'm just so very tired. I don't even feel You near me, Lord. I've been abandoned by everyone. Why am I not important? Why doesn't anybody care? I will never understand why I have to live like this. I hate myself. I just want to hate everyone. My kids suffer because we have no one that cares about us. I have to be all the love for them because I am the only one here to love them. It is so hard to teach them to find love in God when I don't even feel I have. I can't bare it any longer. Bring me peace. Understanding. Hope. Because when I look around all I can see is pain and loneliness and hopelessness. I need a reason to keep going.